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对许翠英诗歌的欣赏与二度创作 [复制链接]

1#

对许翠英诗歌的欣赏与二度创作


张海军

        近日在易水文化网上学习并欣赏了许翠英的两首诗歌:《错,不在我》和《飞蛾,飞蛾》

        我认为翠英的诗歌可圈可点,尤其是在立意上,渐思渐进,渐进渐深。

      《 错,不在我》,充分体现了对社会的关注,对生命的珍重。鄙人重点对《飞蛾,飞蛾》进行了赏析,并就此诗进行了再度构思与创作,为进一步交流切磋,将拙见与拙作承于翠英与各位方家高手面前,体味翠英之诗,咀嚼诗中之理,参悟人生之态。望不吝赐教!

       我想,《飞蛾,飞蛾》这首诗歌,是对生命内心世界进行了努力挖掘。产生了这样的立意效果,是借助飞蛾等自然物象的描写来实现的,通过描写揭示了自然生命的运行法则——物亦有序,轮回其中,或长或短,或喜或悲,各有其态,相斥相融。

       当然,如果按照这种立意欣赏的角度进一步审视这首诗歌,《飞蛾,飞蛾》的立意还略微不够凸显。

                                    

                                                                                                                    池塘的世界

                                                                                                                  (二度创作)


                                                                                                                   池塘边上

                                                                                                                   没有月亮

                                                                                                                  只有荧光灯

                                                                                                                  幽蓝幽蓝

                                                                                                                 扑朔着诱惑的灯光

                                                                                                                 一只只飞蛾

                                                                                                                 勇敢地扑来

                                                                                                                 瞬间落水

                                                                                                                 蛾体飘荡

                                                                                                                 一条条鱼儿

                                                                                                                 悠闲地荡来

                                                                                                                蚕吞美味

                                                                                                                咀嚼肉香

                                                                                                                在同一时空中

                                                                                                                燃烧着壮烈

                                                                                                                洋溢着安详

                                                                                                                岸边蟋蟀

                                                                                                                整夜地和鸣

                                                                                                                是致给鱼儿

                                                                                                                得胜的凯歌么

                                                                                                                还是献给蛾子

                                                                                                                捐躯的挽唱

                                                                                                                抑或是暗幸自己

                                                                                                                明哲保身

                                                                                                                安然无恙

                                                                                                                抑或自得其乐

                                                                                                                只为不负

                                                                                                                阑珊夜色好时光

                                                                                                                                              2011年9月4日

最后编辑张海军 最后编辑于 2011-09-04 12:07:22
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2#

喔唷这么快啊,二都出来了
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3#

回复 2楼夏琴的帖子

够二的,是吧。
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4#

回复 2楼夏琴的帖子

够二的,是吧。
张海军 发表于 2011-9-4 12:54:01


我是觉得这么快就出来,够文思敏捷的了
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5#

[quote]回复 2楼夏琴的帖子

够二的,是吧。
张海军 发表于 2011-9-4 12:54:01 [url=http://w
夏琴 发表于 2011-9-4 15:15:57
和你开玩笑呢。谢谢夸奖!
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6#

[quote]回复 2楼夏琴的帖子

够二的,是吧。
张海军 发表于 2011-9-4 12:54:01 [url=http://w
夏琴 发表于 2011-9-4 15:15:57
多批评!
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7#

张老师确实才思敏捷
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8#

张老师就是厉害。
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9#

张老师确实才思敏捷
尹凤奇 发表于 2011-9-4 18:47:35
很欣赏你的油画!
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10#

张老师就是厉害。
admin 发表于 2011-9-4 18:52:10
过奖!谢谢关注!
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